So, we've been at classes for three days now and everyday seems like it is only getting worse. BUT... there are signs of hope still on the horizon, peaking out from breaking waves every so often. I take comfort in those.

Right now I am the T/C for two classes: humanities (a strong point for me) and algebra I (my weakest point). And today, the math teacher for the program quit, leaving me to teach my worst subject. High point... I succeeded (and had fun doing it). So, while attitudes are sometimes hard to deal with (seriously,kids, you're going to give ME attitude?!) and it is SO incredibly hot in Brady hall, this week is shaping up to be a good one. And I'm so proud of my girls for the improvements they have made.

Right now we're sitting in the library and they are all being super good and QUIET. Yes, this is an important note, as the first time we tried to do group time, the girls were loud, obnoxious and whined non-stop. But today they have actually listened to the rules, are respecting them, respecting us and are still having a good time. For that I am thankful. It's nice to have a break from all of this angsty teenage sass.

But anyway, I'm going to use the rest of the time to get some grading done. I've found that this program is teaching me how to stay on top of my work, so it'd be nice not to loose that lesson so soon into it. Talk to you later!

Gabby

So, today didn't go half bad.

I got up at ten (yay for sleeping in!). Once all the TC's got here we proceeded to run around like chicken's with our heads cut off in order to put on the finishing touches. With everything done the kids finally started to arrive... and that was probably the most nerve racking moment of my life. Because before then, it was just us TCs, doing our thing, having evenings off, not having to be responsible for anyone but ourselves. But now... there are kids running around the halls, making noises, breaking rules.

And it is totally awesome!

I'm still nervous and we still have more kids on there way, but still. This is already a really rewarding experience. My girls are really nice and they don't talk back (yet). I'm just going to stay positive and I know that everything will be just fine.

So, I'm working night shift until one. Our usual night guy won't be here until tomorrow. But this is going to be fun... so wish us all the best.

Gabby

Well, today was the last day of "training." It is amazing how exhausted I am, and really we didn't even do anything. While training has left me feeling a little bit better about the next six weeks, I still feel like I have a long ways to go.

So, the kids will be here Saturday (or at least the newbies) and I am scared half to death and excited at the same time. Though one thing that comforts me is that I am working with some pretty fantastic people. I'd be more worried, but this group of people are fun, smart and helpful. I don't think I'm going to have any problems.

So, I'll be around if anyone wants to call or hang. But just keep us in your thoughts... we still have a lot of work to do!

Gabby

Today being the first day of training, I was understandably nervous.

Now that the day has passed and it is time for bed I'm still nervous.

But that's okay. Yes, there is WAY more to this job than I thought, but it's all good things. It is nothing that I don't think I can handle, and I really look forward to the challenge that lies ahead. Will this job be the most fun I've ever had? No, but it will be the most rewarding. It is definitely different from any I've ever had and I look forward to learning more about it and experiencing it more tomorrow.

But I'm all moved in now. The biggest thing today was killing the brown recluse spider that was on the inside of my window. Yes, a brown recluse. I think we got it, but I'm not entirely sure yet. It's kinda... curled up in a corner, but I guess we'll see tomorrow.

Anyway, I'm going to pop a movie in and call it a night. I have to be up and going by nine am! I know, I know, that's nothing... unless you've spent the last month sleeping in!

Goodnight!

Gabby

So, I haven't written about this yet because, well... I didn't know how to. And honestly, it happened so fast and didn't really have time to either. I mean, it's nothing really life changing, not really too surprising, definitely not something that affects too many people. I mean, it's just the job that uprooted me and planted me firmly back in the Soo.

In less than 24 hours.

Needless to say, the job offer was... unexpected. But when Tory said that my name had been brought up by several people to be what basically boils down to a tutor and that I'd be making a decent amount of money in six weeks and not have to worry about paying for a thing I HAD to say sure. Because until then I was jobless and very poor and yeah... the thought of actually MAKING money appealed to me. Not to mention the job sounded fun. Not my usual thing, but fun. And Steve, who was staring at me from over his frappacino, loved the idea. He thinks it'll "turn me on to teaching." That makes me laugh.

So, I said my goodbyes and did my laundry and the next morning I was leaving behind friends, family and animals to go back to Sault Ste. Marie. Which, honestly... I couldn't love more.

Am I nervous? Yes, incredibly. I don't claim to be a teacher in any way, shape, or form. But I'm going into this thing knowing that I do have the power to make a difference in someone's life, and I have the knowledge that I need to help people when they get stuck. I guess we'll just find out what happens tomorrow when I start training, and I'll be sure to keep this thing up to date about how everything is going. I'm just glad to have gotten this opportunity. I really am excited to see where it's going to take me!

Gabby

It's so early and yet... here I am.

Being up this late (early?) reminded me of the months that followed me dropping out of school. I'd be up all night on the computer, staring at the flickering screen, wondering if anyone would be around for me to talk to. I used to get so depressed about those nights, because inevitably I'd end up alone.

But then there was the sun rise.

And suddenly it was like the light that filtered in over the horizon lifted away the darkness that night had let settle. I was torn away from that black place and suddenly my spirit was free to just... smile again. And nothing felt better than curling up under my blankets and sleeping the morning away.

I was always reminded of the road as I watched the sunrise. I think I even mentioned it several times in this journal. "This morning's sunrise reminded me of watching it come up over the tops of the mountains that surrounded Vegas," or, "The light was the same shade of pale orange that followed us as we drove through the plains of Wyoming." It was in those quiet moments of solitude as day shifted that I always was reminded of what home to me was; not some roof over your head, or the daily routines that were comfortably familiar, but the places that took your breath away, the places that kept you guessing. And for me, home has always been morning, where day spills over from night, where suddenly the world opens up into a brand new place, constantly changing, never the same boring story. It's in these places that we find clarity and can truly find out who we are because it is then that we stop focusing on the harshness of reality and just take the time to live in the cleansing rays of the dawning sun.

I guess tonight I was just thinking about how life moves so quickly. Anymore it feels like I don't get to enjoy the tiniest luxuries. Since going back to school I have taken for granted the little hidden gems that living has to offer. Maybe that is why - at four in the morning - I am still awake. My soul is hungry for the simplicity that it has been missing. Maybe I want to see the sunrise again. And maybe then I will fall asleep, curled up under my blankets just to sleep the morning away.

Gabby

he came home.

More specifically, a neighbor found him and brought him home.

Thank God. :D

Gabby

I've posted this on Facebook and now I'm posting it here, because I want as much positive thought going towards it as possible.

My fiance Steve brought Noah the cat home 4 years ago when Noah was just a kitten. This cat... is like a kid to him. He is the sweetest cat and... today he went missing.

Steve, as all of you probably know, lives 9 hours away from here. not being able to help try and find him is really hurting him right now. I've done all that I can and the search continues but... it's really hard.

I know he's just a cat, but if all of you could please just think good thoughts. Say a prayer, picture him coming home... anything. This cat is really part of the family and we would be devastated if he didn't come home. We'd do anything to have him back... so please just keep him in your thoughts.

Gabby

So, I've decided to spend my entire summer writing a 20,000 word X-Files story. You know, for funsies. But seriously, anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE to write and fandom has always been a big part of that, so... yeah. Check it out. join. Cheer on. Or leave a comment here telling me how messed up/crazy/awesome I am!


xf_bigbang

So, being home is fun.

For about five minutes.

Honestly, I like being here, but when it's your senior year and you've only got thirty credits left to finish before you can graduate... you want to get it the eff' done.

Highlights so far? Well, I've been hanging out a lot with Ashley and Amy and Shari. It's really nice to be hanging with the girls again. I've seen Jeff Dunham LIVE! Freakin' amazing, that's what that is. Steve stopped by for a visit. The days have been hot, the nights have been cool.

And I can't wait to be back up north.

No, seriously. You don't understand... well... maybe you do. 30 freakin' credit hours left. And I'm DONE.

Longest. Summer. Ever.

Gabby

Well, I suppose I should update, considering that it's summer break and I have all the time in the world to do this now...

This week (though it is not over) has had it's ups and downs. For starters, I moved away from the Soo, a place that I've called home for so many years, to live in MP for the summer. Yes, just the summer, but this was a move that I didn't necessarily want to make. Due to money situations, though, I opted to come home and find a job, not worry about rent and save up some dough. The only bill I'll have to worry about is the cell phone, and maybe a few other things here and there.

This leads me to the next thing: Job. I have an interview tomorrow afternoon for a job working at Family Video. Not your average job, but it'll be fun and different and yeah. So keep your fingers crossed guys 'cause this would be great to start working soon.

I've been hanging out with a lot of people since I got home. I've seen Michael and Amy and Ashley and soon I'll see Shari. I'm going out with Michael this weekend to celebrate his graduating, so that should be fun...

Speaking of graduating, my BEST FRIEND Stacy graduated this past weekend. I cried, because now my best friend will be up and leaving for some place far away. She doesn't know exactly where yet, but wouldn't you leave Michigan if you had the chance? Yeah, me too.

I found out my final grades this week. I passed, which is seriously a MIRACLE. I am not even exaggerating. I should have failed but alas, I did not. So I'm devoting myself to studying hard this next semester and retaking a few of the courses I didn't do so hot in to up my GPA. And then... next spring...

I graduate.

So this summer will kind of be a final hurrah. So here's to making the best of it! Cheers!

Gabby

When I got home a few days ago, I found out that a guy I went to high school with and was in the marching band with had died in a hunting accident. At first it didn't sink in, and while I do not hurt nearly as bad as his family must be right now, it still does hurt. So, to feel more at ease with my feelings, this is the story about what happened when my friend and I went to the memorial today. *shrugs*


( Therapeutic writing )

and I love it...

(  From Neil Gaiman's American Gods )

A few weeks ago I introduced two friends. At the time, the girl was having troubles with a guy and, jokingly, I told her she should date this guy friend of mine. We laughed and shrugged it off. But a few days later they were hanging out with each other and, well... there was a bet made. This is the story of that bet.

14 days (Or How We Won a Bet Without Even Trying)
By Gabrielle Castillo

( Day 1 )

Turning to the man on her left, a smile crept across her face and she laughed.

Turning to the laughing girl on his right, the man shook his head and frowned.

"What are you doing?" he asked, an edge to his voice. But it wasn't sharp enough to cut through.

"Living!" she yelled, stretching her arms out into the clean air, breathing in the blue sky above her head. She stood then, spinning on her feet in the cool grass, not caring that he watched her with a wary eye.

She paused suddenly. Her eyes landed on him. And in a flurry of motion she took him in her arms, spinning him in circles around the quiet park. She laughed as they moved, pulling him into her happy bubble.

And try as he might, he couldn't do it. The laugh bubbled inside of him, bursting free in a single rough guffaw. And as the sun continued to set, they laughed the evening away, unafraid of the maybes. Unafraid.

I am so in love.

Because after a stressful and busy week my boy surprised me with a trip down from Hearst and brought me down to Clare for a romantic getaway. The Presidential Suite, free champagne, an in-room hottub, great dinner, free breakfast and best of all, hours of snuggling next to my boy talking and laughing and smiling and not worrying about all the things I have to do. I love that, after a hard week, he can surprise me like this. I love having someone who cares about me and who I would give the world for if he wanted it.

This of course also means that I'm down in MP until tomorrow. So tonight I am hanging out with the girls and catching up. If I get ahold of him, Michael may stop by. *shrugs* But it'll be nice to just be with my friends and chillax before I have to head back up to a busy life again.

OH! And my PR pitch presentation got pushed back A WHOLE WEEK! That gives me time to catch up on everything else. Steve was right; when I take the time to slow down, things work themselves out. *big smile*

I thought I'd update quickly, though. My stress-relieving AHHHHHH may have confused some, lol! I'm fine... more than fine now. :D

Gabby

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Okay, I feel better now! :D

If it wasn't so damn cold out, I might be out walking. Taking in the night air, letting my mind wander. But no, it's freakin' cold and snowy.

So my canvas tonight isn't a starry night sky, infinite in its patience, but instead an internet blog. Eh, I guess I'll take what I can get.

For you see, my mind has been a jumble of thoughts lately. About life, about love, about friends. I'm facing so many roads right now and I have no idea which ones take me to that happy place everyone dreams about. I want to be out of this town so badly, but I keep holding myself back from actually doing it. I feel like I should be far away, but I don't know how to get there. Maybe it's just that time of year again. That time of year when the weather gets nice and everyone has gypsy feet. Then again, it's cold and snowy...

But restless or not, it doesn't stop my usual problems. Missing him has never been worse. Lying here at night and all I can think of is what its like to have his arms around me. Missing waking up to his smile. Even something as simple as getting to lay my head on his shoulder, laugh into his chest... here his voice right next to my ear. But it always keeps me happy knowing that, at any given time, having that is only a few weeks away. When I remind myself that I haven't lost these things, they are just temporarily unavailable, I feel better. And sometimes, like phantom limbs, he's next to me again.

I don't know why I'm feeling so poetic tonight. I bet it's because I haven't allowed myself to be a poet in awhile. Or maybe I'm just bored and have the free time to do that. *shrugs*

It's nice though... I've missed this...

Gabby

Tonight is opening night for "You're a Good Man Charlie Brown."

Okay, well, that's not completely true. Yesterday was opening night... for the OTHER Lucy. But tonight is MY opening night.

As is tradition, I usually write about how amazing the experience has been and how blessed I am to be able to do stuff like this. And while all of that is true this time around, this particular production is especially meaningful to me.

It is the first musical on the LSSU Fine Arts Center stage. It is my last spring production. It is my first principal role in a MUSICAL.

All of this adds up to one hell of an amazing experience, one that I was hesitant to accept at first. I auditioned just praying to get a part in the chorus. But I remember walking out of that audition feeling like I'd never done anything better. I remember walking up to the cast list the day it was hung and seeing that my name was the first name on the list next to another name; Lucy Van Pelt. I remember getting out of breath as I both jumped for joy and freaked out, wondering if I had the talent to play such a demanding role.

8 weeks has gone by so fast. But when I look at myself in the mirror today, staring at the make-up on my face and the wig on my head I will know that I have never been so proud of myself for stepping into such a role and really giving it a shot. I will know that I have never been more proud of having friends who are willing to help me practice my songs and my lines, who never show how sick they are of my walking down the halls in character or bitching about how I'm so nervous. I've never been happier to have a family who supports me, directors who help me, friends who tell me to keep going.

So, it's opening night. For me. I hope many of you can make it to the show, and for those of you who can't... wish me luck!

Gabby

yeah, yeah, it's been awhile. But I've been busy, so cut me some slack!!

Um... do i have anything to report? let's see...

Opening night is two weeks, 1 day away!! Oh God, i am sooooo excited it isn't even funny! But at the same time (as usual) I am incredibly nervous. A musical. A freakin' musical. Nothing has scared me more in my life... but I'm going to do it, and I'm going to try and enjoy it while it lasts.

In other news, I get to go home this weekend! I'm really looking forward to spending time with friends and family. You have no idea how much I need it. With school and the show and everything else, life has been stressful, so taking a break to just be Gabby the girl instead of Gabby the leader/actor/student will be nice. So if any of you MP people wanna hang, just call me. Or e-mail me. Or whatever!

Oh, btw, Detroit was mucho fun-o. I don't think I ever got the opportunity to say that. I learned a lot, saw cool people, met cool people, ate good food and smoked a cigar. yeah, good times!

Well, I'm off to a meeting! Adios!

Gabby