We've got to keep going...

I don't have to work today and tomorrow (yay) so I'm going over to have lunch with Gail (yay). Of course, it's kind of a goodbye lunch, as she leaves for NY on Sunday (boo, but yay 'cause it's NY).

Now that I've started working again... I don't know what to do with myself when I'm not. So, does anyone recommend any good books, movies, musics, fanfics (CSI,XF,Scrubs,Pushing Daisies), or any activities that might be a hoot?

Speaking of the X-Files, I had the most wonderful dream last night. My cousins and I were at a mall and I kept finding new XF gear. There were watches and movies and clothes and they just kept begging me to buy them. Of course, I think I ended up only with the watches, but they were so cool... I wish they were real.

I also had a dream about a time traveling, crime-solving kid. Think "Cold Case" but with the ability to actually go back in time instead of having hallucinations of people. Yeah. The end result of being a time traveling crime solver? You end up swimming with dinosaurs and falling in love with the woman you saved from being murdered. Yeah.

WTF is up with my dreams lately?

Anywho... I should go walk the dog, take a shower, and get going! Adios!

Gabby

I read an article today on CNN.com about how people create blogs and use them as a sort of group therapy. And I thought, yes, as much as my blog is a place to vent and find support when I need it, I don't write here specifically to complain about life (as the article implied most people do).

I'd like to think that my blog is a place to express myself, to recount my day, to think things through when they get to complicated, to meet new people, to post private things, to write stories, to be creative. I try not to be the emo poster, or the poster who writes that everythings swell when really it's not, and I'm certainly not one trying to make everyone like me. I'm just... a normal person writing normal things in a place where I can find them and relive them at my own pace.

I keep a handwritten journal by my bedside, where all the really personal and deep stuff goes. And sometimes, yes, that stuff does make it here. But this is the place where I can be me. I never want this to become a place where you guys are constantly writing, "Oh, Things will be okay! Keep your chin up!" Yes, when I need support I love you guys for what you give, but if you ever see this becoming a whine fest, please yell at me!

In the meantime, Steve is making bread and my belly has a smile 'cause of it! Yay!

Gabb

For those of you who would like to keep track of my summer internship, give my ideas and encouragement, or just keep up with my summer, you can find my journal here:

I'm a Summer Intern!

HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!!

Drink tequila. Eat tortillas. Dance around sombreros. Do as the Mexicans do.

Cross some boarders illegally. :D

Gabby "The Mexican" Castillo

A couple things.

So, I got a job/internship working at the Fine Arts Center on campus. I start Thursday. I'll be taking reservations for shows, writing press releases and working on a campaign to get the word out about our shows, as well as helping out on show nights and setting up/tearing down for shows.

I found an amazing video on Youtube. Well, I didn't find it, but it was on the front page. It's cute though, so I recommend you watch it. You can find it here.

I'm also working on my own script. I've started writing it, so if anyone is interested in helping or reading parts of it as I get it done, let me know.

So... that's all for now, but I'll be back with a real update soon. Oh, and by the way... I need to keep a journal of my internship, so I'll be posting a link to that soon, since it'll be easier for me to keep it online. Alright!

Gabby

1 left. No doubt my hardest exam of the year. Speech and drama. A Gary test, for those of you who know him and for those of you who don't...

Let's just say, it's going to be a long afternoon.

On the plus side, Gary just offered me the Arts Center public relations internship for this summer. Can you say "psyched?" It pays, it's my internship, it's working at the arts center in the box office, I get to go to all of the shows (um, Jeff Daniels is coming? I'll SO be there!) This is just... exciting! And to think I'll be learning and applying what I've learned. Finally I feel like my major means something, lol!

Anywho... studying is usually a good thing. And since his exam will probably be the hardest... I better go study. Wish me luck!

Gabby

Day three brings one of those hard tests that you dread, but you know that you HAVE to take it. I mean, it goes beyond the grade on this one, it's needed to keep your psychological and emotional balance for the rest of the summer.

Interpersonal communication has been my favorite class this year, but the last few weeks I've been slipping a bit. I am determined, though, to prove that my missing some classes will not effect my grade or the knowledge I have gained from the course. Damn it, I will pass!!

Tomorrow is the big day. 2 exams. Small group communication and Speech and drama productions. Both will be long and hard. Both... I shall get an A on.

See, if you think you can... you can!

Adios!

Gabby

PS: I apparently got one of the highest grades in my mass media exam! Go me!

Today I delivered my final presentation for Small Group and presented my final performance order for Speech and drama. I have to say... I'm pretty proud of both. Small group final was pretty awesome. I did a game that I basically improv'd (most of it had been done, but I added something last minute and it ROCKED!) My Speech and drama thing also surprised me with it's awesomeness. It was pretty cool, sitting there, actually talking about our orders like we knew what we were doing... I might just admit that this is the first semester I actually feel like I've learned something and *GASP* feel like a communication major!

The parentals are meeting this weekend. Which is FREAKING me out because... well... their meeting for the first time ever. We're gonna take them around the Soo... show them some of the places we're thinking about holding the wedding... go out to dinner. Show them the apartment. The usual. My mom is going to have a long day ahead of her... she has to go to Lansing first to get her birth certificate and then she's coming up to Da Soo to rest/eat/stop driving.

Then, on Sunday... the big day... our 1 year anniversary. Holy. Mother. Of. God. Has it really already been a year? Like... really? We don't really have anything planned, what with the parents coming up and all, but I do have a gift idea for the boy. If you wanna know, you can e-mail or call or something, but he reads my LJ so posting that is outta the question. I'm still in awe right now. I mean... a year ago on THIS day I was single, moppy, saying that Steve could never like me that way... and then I let it slip to a friend and she let it slip and three days later Steve asked me out.

There, now you know the legend of Gabby and Steve.

In the mean time, my adviser today told me that he wants me to do a performance for my senior thesis. So... I need your help with something.

Poll #1176513 What should Gabby do for her senior thesis?!
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

What SHOULD Gabby do for her senior thesis?!

Okay... I'm done. But really, F-list, help me out with this one!!

Gabby

Today was a day for flashbacks.

Standing in this living room, I had my iTunes blaring on shuffle. And it is weird how life works, because as soon as her name popped into my head the song came on...

"I've heard it said that people come into our lifes for a reason..."

Steve held me as I stared out the window and allowed myself, just for one brief moment, to miss her.

Then, I was walking to class. And the sky was blue and the air was cool and out of nowhere a gust of wind blew my hair and it smelled so fresh, like spring. And I thought...

"I'm in my car, driving to nowhere, getting somewhere and sitting next to me and in the backseat are two of the greatest friends I'll ever have... and nothing will ever change that."

But it changed, right? Life always changes. And that's okay, you know... we all have to move on.

But surfing on Facebook today I came across an old picture of all of us. Me, you, Chris, Michael, Shari. And my heart skipped. And I smiled.

Because, yes, there was proof finally that there was a time when we didn't fight. There was a time when we existed in eachother's life. There was a time when the smiles... they weren't fake.

We weren't faking it there.

I miss home. I miss the PEOPLE at home. I miss Shari's crazy stories. I miss Michael's warm hugs. I miss Cyela's sarcasm and most of all I miss your contagious laugh. The one that I would join in with and nobody would know what the hell was going on. I miss being those friends who could stay up talking about nothing and know that it still meant something.

Can you remember any of this? I had forgotten it... I don't know why I remember now...

Gabby

So... a few things have happened since I last updated. But my mind is so consumed with the one thing that the others really don't matter right now.

Let me start by saying that things between Steve and I have been SO much better since the last time I wrote. I guess the stress of never getting to see eachother finally just caught up with us and now that he's done with his internship and I'm done with my show and other things we can finally just take a breath.

But when something seems easy, always be ready for the catch.

Saturday, Steve found out about a job opprotunity. It is about 8 hours away in Holland Centre, ON. Now, it'd be wonderful if it was a job for next year. I mean, he'd be teaching french, he'd be closer than England, there is a wonderful school about 2 hours away that I could transfer to, but no. If he gets this job he'll be leaving in about, oh... a week. One week. To pack his things, find a temporary place to live and leave.

I support him. I do. I want to see him succeed and be able to start teaching; something he's been working so hard for for 6 years. But now that we were in this beautiful place... for him to up and have to leave... that's really hard.

I am so proud of him. I am so happy for him. But I was just getting used to being a couple again. I really don't want to be alone for 2 months.

:(

Gabby

1. Gladiator sandals - omg!! So much fun!! I NEED!

2. Hair Cut/style - So... Diviners is over which means i can get my hair cut! I don't know how I want it cut, but it needs to be done!

3. Boy b-day present ideas - Steve's 25 birthday is coming up and I have NO idea what to get him. I also need to start planning a party for him but I have no idea what to do with that either.

4. Tickets to William Petersen's play in Chicago - And I will have those tickets, damn it... because I will get the autograph I was too chicken-shit to ask for in RI

Gabby

I found this horrible website today that made me sick.

It's amazing to me... we pit republicans against democrats, we accuse eachother of not being patriotic enough, not supporting the troops, not doing enough to end the war, hunger, discrimination. And yet... who has targeted this group? This hateful, malicious, SICK group who thank God for explosives that kill troops in Iraq, who thank God for AIDS, who post ON THE FRONT PAGE OF THEIR WEBSITE how thankful they are that 5 children died in a house fire in Arkansas... because they died for the signs of gay people, soldiers, etc. in that state? Why has no one spoken up about this group? WHY IS HATE LIKE THIS ALLOWED TO GROW???

www.godhatesfags.com

Something needs to be done about people like this. Because the God I believe in... would be as sick as I am...

So, my day has been less than great.

I got up early, took the dog out, fed her, etc knowing that today could very well be one of the last days I have her. Some stuff happened last night that kind of forced Steve and I to make a decision about keeping a big dog in a small apartment... and after about 45 minutes of crying/fighting we fell asleep.

I hate this sometimes.

The Diviners closed last night. It was really hard not to cry but I made it through. Funny though, because you think you have this tight knit group and then... well, we didn't do anything afterwards. No send off, no goodbyes. And yes, I mean, we'll still see eachother but... I just thought it was something more special than that. *shrugs*

Stacy is finally back from France. I have to admit, it is wonderful having my best friend back. Tonight, after my Functions of the Human Body class, we're going to go work out. It'll feel good to run. Get all of this stress and hurt and anger out of my system. It'll be nice to run next to someone who I don't feel is judging me. It'll be good just to get out of my own head for awhile.

And on one more positive note, I just found my headset to my cell. So I called my mom to try it out and it works!

But on the downside, my dog just through up and my aunt has been diagnosed with MS.

I shouldn't have found the damn headset...

Gabby

( Survey to entertain myself... )

When you believe in something, you stand up for it.

When you really believe that someone is being put down, stepped on, beaten up, you help them.

I'm in this situation right now where I have this wonderful professor and most of the students in the class are too lazy to do the work. Because of this... they're exaggerating, telling lies, to try and get her into trouble. Is it because she is different then them? Because they don't understand her teaching? Because they are bored? I don't know...

I stood up for her the other day. Told some of the students that if they just put their minds to it and did the work they'd be getting better grades, having a better time in the class, you know, the usual.

Today, though... I'm going to be an outcast. No one will talk to me. It's going to be a rough day.

And a rough end of the semester.

But I'd do it again. Because no one should have their name dragged through the mud like this professor has. No one should be left to fight this kind of a battle alone.

Gabby

Well, I guess that time has finally come. The lights will come up, the audience will "oooo" and "ahhh" and the actors will... you know... act. I guess I'm getting kind of nervous. Just a little. But I think we'll do all right.

So, I guess heres to breaking a leg.

Maybe five.

*thumbs up*

Gabby

I've been asked a lot lately about my beliefs due to the topic I posted a few days ago. Today, the topic came up again, although in a bit different medium and I thought I'd post some of my response to that topic... you know... to clarify...

that and it'll probably be used in my personal narrative this week. *shrugs*


"Now, take away the fact that science has yet to prove and will more than likely NEVER prove that God exists. So now, I'm left with faith alone. And because of that, I'm forced to "scientifically" gather my own evidence to support my claims that, yes, there is a God. You wanted to know the parameters that we used to facilitate that faith and this may sound weird but... in the absence of science that proves a god, I use known science that proves the self.

Here we are, these complicated beings and someone tries to teach me in my Functions of the Human Body class everyday that we were created from a single cell. That my body; a tool that regulates itself (for the most part) creates and recreates itself, was created by a cellular mistake at the beginning of time. And to me... that's just... improbable. So when I think of my beliefs... my God... I challenge current science."

I don't know... but this seems like something I needed to share... :D

Gabby

Today, I am being stalked.

Not literally stalked. This is definetly a good thing. Although, when you are being stalked by the WORLDS CUTEST COUPLE how "good" can that be??

Therefore, I make a statement here and now.

"I, Gabrielle Castillo, shall not be stalked by anyone less than the status "cute" or "pretty" or "fun to look at." I shall forever be a magnet to the attractive and entertaining."

Lol, that is all.

Gabby

So, I got through my classes today feeling a little better.

Interpersonal really taught me a thing or two about how we communicate in relationships. How... we have a need to stay connected with the person we are with but at the same time we need to keep a face - a place - in the world that is completely our own. Relationships cannot be all about staying connected at the hip with your partner, but rather finding uniqueness and individuality in being part of a couple. *shrugs*

Mass media taught me that I can write a paper in 45 minutes and still get an A on it. Boo ya suckers!

Oh, oh! I had a costume fitting today! Jennie Mae is going to be purdy. It's so funny... because I've never had a lead role until this show and there I was holding this costume in my hands going, "Wow, only leads would get a costume this nice." And then I remembered that I was a lead and a big grin spread out over my face. Eeeeee!!! But we'll come back to that in a moment.

Gail is taking me to dinner; and by dinner I mean the QD (ah, cafeteria food at its finest). I love her to death right now. I also love Ashlie to death right now... she really made me feel better about things. I really appreciated that.

I have rehearsal tonight. I have to admit, I'm a little nervous. You know, the show opens in just over two weeks. God, I can't believe this is really happening. I'm still trying to get over being in the "spotlight." I'm not used to having so much depend on me knowing my stuff but rather am used to having one line and being done with it all. Seeing my costume today, seeing the set onstage, hearing my lines come out of my mouth without a script in my hands... this is all so very real now.

Last night at rehearsal I had this "epiphany." I was waiting for my cue and I got distracted by the lights. And my eyes were staring and they felt so warm on my face and this giggle escaped. And I realized just how much I want to do this "theatre" thing for the rest of my life. How I love this thrill. And then my cue was called and I really didn't have much more time to reflect but... I would be happy with that. Spending my time on the stage. That would be nice.

Anywho... it's almost time for dinner. I should probably try to get some real work done. Adios!

Gabby

... so I share them with all of you...

( Pictures that'll let you know I'm weird )