We've got to keep going...

This weekend was filled with a lot of firsts.

My first hockey game of the year. My first major holiday with Steve. My first Canadian Thanksgiving. Our first major fight...

Hockey was great. The band sounded amazing and we had so much fun. Hell, free pizza and shirts is ALWAYS a good thing.

Spending a holiday with Steve was nice too, even if it was only Thanksgiving. We made a turkey together. There's another first, I guess. The first turkey I ever made (well, WE made it, lol). But it was a nice, quiet dinner with delicious food and fun.

First Canadian thanksgiving... which is a big deal to me because someday I'll be Canadian... so it's like the start of an era... or the rest of my life. Thanksgiving is not as big a deal as it is here in the States, but this meant a lot to me. It meant starting my own family, my own traditions, only being influenced by my parent's traditions, not following them strictly. That's a big step for me. For both of us.

And, our first major fight. It's scary, being mad at someone, mad at yourself, wanting to scream because they're being so calm. I'm so used to yelling (I blame my parents) and I'm so used to storming off. But there we were, lying in bed, and I couldn't walk away. Even if I could have, he wouldn't have let me (which I love him even more for). We were just... talking, then being silent, then crying, then... silent again. And after awhile you just don't want to be mad anymore. You just want to take back being pissy and say you're sorry and let it all go.

See, the thing is, even though we got over it the first night, it happened again the second night. Well, last night it was more just me being sad about the wedding. The whole not being able to do it sooner thing. I came to the conclusion, though, that we've gotten over the part in our relationship where you're walking on eggshells, scared that you're going to hurt the other one. We've gotten to the point now where stuff starts coming out and you can't help but talk about it. And sometimes, you get angry with each other or hurt by each other. You get scared easily so you get hurt easily. And it frightens me to be at this point because I mess things up so easily, but I also know that when you love someone, when you REALLY love someone, you stick it out and talk. And talk, and talk and talk. And you don't stop until you've reached an understanding.

And you know that, while you may differ on some points, the love is still there.

And you never let anyone get away with hurting you.

And in the end, you never go to bed angry.

Gabby