We've got to keep going...

I woke up sick. Headache, stomachache, sore all over. 'Nuff said.

Managed to get out of bed long enough to go buy a dress for a wedding I'm going to next weekend.

Came home, Steve left for work. Necessary but sad.

My phone rings.

Apparently I won't be doing that super awesome internship this summer... because finacial aid has screwed me over again. I thought I had planned ahead for this... I thought I really had. And yeah, I registered late because I'm just poor enough to NOT be able to pay the stupid late fees at the school library. But I did register, and just in time to avoid late fees.

So when they called me 2 hours before they closed and told me I still had $2000+ still to pay... I started crying.

Especially when they told me I'd be alright... as long as I could pay at least $950 by 5 tonight (the lowest payment possible for the payment plan).

So I dropped two summer classes thinking I'd be alright. Nope. Apparently that made ALL the financial aid go away and now I have $350 to pay by 5pm to be able to keep my internship. Well, guess what? I'm a college student, I don't have that much. My parents are both unemployed. My fiance is poor, my entire family is poor and because of all the poor people I'm surrounded by I apply for heap loads of financial aid every year. So if they can't help, I don't go to school.

Or get to do cool internships and other such classes that would allow me to graduate next May.

So basically I'm screwed.

Oh, and btw... that means no summer job at the fine arts center for me. Joy.

Gabby

I don't have to work today and tomorrow (yay) so I'm going over to have lunch with Gail (yay). Of course, it's kind of a goodbye lunch, as she leaves for NY on Sunday (boo, but yay 'cause it's NY).

Now that I've started working again... I don't know what to do with myself when I'm not. So, does anyone recommend any good books, movies, musics, fanfics (CSI,XF,Scrubs,Pushing Daisies), or any activities that might be a hoot?

Speaking of the X-Files, I had the most wonderful dream last night. My cousins and I were at a mall and I kept finding new XF gear. There were watches and movies and clothes and they just kept begging me to buy them. Of course, I think I ended up only with the watches, but they were so cool... I wish they were real.

I also had a dream about a time traveling, crime-solving kid. Think "Cold Case" but with the ability to actually go back in time instead of having hallucinations of people. Yeah. The end result of being a time traveling crime solver? You end up swimming with dinosaurs and falling in love with the woman you saved from being murdered. Yeah.

WTF is up with my dreams lately?

Anywho... I should go walk the dog, take a shower, and get going! Adios!

Gabby

A couple things.

So, I got a job/internship working at the Fine Arts Center on campus. I start Thursday. I'll be taking reservations for shows, writing press releases and working on a campaign to get the word out about our shows, as well as helping out on show nights and setting up/tearing down for shows.

I found an amazing video on Youtube. Well, I didn't find it, but it was on the front page. It's cute though, so I recommend you watch it. You can find it here.

I'm also working on my own script. I've started writing it, so if anyone is interested in helping or reading parts of it as I get it done, let me know.

So... that's all for now, but I'll be back with a real update soon. Oh, and by the way... I need to keep a journal of my internship, so I'll be posting a link to that soon, since it'll be easier for me to keep it online. Alright!

Gabby

Today I delivered my final presentation for Small Group and presented my final performance order for Speech and drama. I have to say... I'm pretty proud of both. Small group final was pretty awesome. I did a game that I basically improv'd (most of it had been done, but I added something last minute and it ROCKED!) My Speech and drama thing also surprised me with it's awesomeness. It was pretty cool, sitting there, actually talking about our orders like we knew what we were doing... I might just admit that this is the first semester I actually feel like I've learned something and *GASP* feel like a communication major!

The parentals are meeting this weekend. Which is FREAKING me out because... well... their meeting for the first time ever. We're gonna take them around the Soo... show them some of the places we're thinking about holding the wedding... go out to dinner. Show them the apartment. The usual. My mom is going to have a long day ahead of her... she has to go to Lansing first to get her birth certificate and then she's coming up to Da Soo to rest/eat/stop driving.

Then, on Sunday... the big day... our 1 year anniversary. Holy. Mother. Of. God. Has it really already been a year? Like... really? We don't really have anything planned, what with the parents coming up and all, but I do have a gift idea for the boy. If you wanna know, you can e-mail or call or something, but he reads my LJ so posting that is outta the question. I'm still in awe right now. I mean... a year ago on THIS day I was single, moppy, saying that Steve could never like me that way... and then I let it slip to a friend and she let it slip and three days later Steve asked me out.

There, now you know the legend of Gabby and Steve.

In the mean time, my adviser today told me that he wants me to do a performance for my senior thesis. So... I need your help with something.

Poll #1176513 What should Gabby do for her senior thesis?!
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

What SHOULD Gabby do for her senior thesis?!

Okay... I'm done. But really, F-list, help me out with this one!!

Gabby

So, I got through my classes today feeling a little better.

Interpersonal really taught me a thing or two about how we communicate in relationships. How... we have a need to stay connected with the person we are with but at the same time we need to keep a face - a place - in the world that is completely our own. Relationships cannot be all about staying connected at the hip with your partner, but rather finding uniqueness and individuality in being part of a couple. *shrugs*

Mass media taught me that I can write a paper in 45 minutes and still get an A on it. Boo ya suckers!

Oh, oh! I had a costume fitting today! Jennie Mae is going to be purdy. It's so funny... because I've never had a lead role until this show and there I was holding this costume in my hands going, "Wow, only leads would get a costume this nice." And then I remembered that I was a lead and a big grin spread out over my face. Eeeeee!!! But we'll come back to that in a moment.

Gail is taking me to dinner; and by dinner I mean the QD (ah, cafeteria food at its finest). I love her to death right now. I also love Ashlie to death right now... she really made me feel better about things. I really appreciated that.

I have rehearsal tonight. I have to admit, I'm a little nervous. You know, the show opens in just over two weeks. God, I can't believe this is really happening. I'm still trying to get over being in the "spotlight." I'm not used to having so much depend on me knowing my stuff but rather am used to having one line and being done with it all. Seeing my costume today, seeing the set onstage, hearing my lines come out of my mouth without a script in my hands... this is all so very real now.

Last night at rehearsal I had this "epiphany." I was waiting for my cue and I got distracted by the lights. And my eyes were staring and they felt so warm on my face and this giggle escaped. And I realized just how much I want to do this "theatre" thing for the rest of my life. How I love this thrill. And then my cue was called and I really didn't have much more time to reflect but... I would be happy with that. Spending my time on the stage. That would be nice.

Anywho... it's almost time for dinner. I should probably try to get some real work done. Adios!

Gabby

I'm a little frustrated right now.

It's like... something good happens. Something really exciting and happy and whatnot... and everyone is excited and looking forward to it and plans start to be made and everything finally feels like its falling into place.

And then... all of this bad news starts coming in. And I start getting frustrated and angry and bitter. And I just want to make all of this... noise just stop because I'm so tired of my life going to hell right when things are starting to look up again.

Today in Speech and Drama Productions, Gary told us that our assignment was to write a personal narrative and he said that a good starting point was to think of three major things that made us who we are today. And I realized something; I realized that the three major things that have made me who I am today are bad things... and that the things that I wish could have changed me haven't changed me at all. I came to the conclusion that I'm really just the same person I was 2 years ago when I dropped out of school except for more insecure and scared. That I have so much to do in life but none of the room to do it. That as many good things have happened to me in the last few months I still feel like I'm just... stuck.

On top of feeling down on myself today, Steve informed me that the car ended up having $300+ worth of work done on it when all we took it in for was an oil change. I have no idea when I'm going to graduate, England is probably going to be too expensive, I'm so sick right now, but I still have tons of homework AND rehearsal to do... and now we're flat broke.

Ugh... such an emo post.

I'm hungry... so I guess I better go make some food. I'll end my rant now... :)

Gabby

In about 40 minutes I have to go to this English and Communication majors meeting. Basically, it's all the eng. and comm. professors getting the students into a room, bribing us with pizza and silently saying to themselves, "We've had too many complaints. We must calm the masses!" I look forward to it.

In the meantime, something to share with you all:

www.theholders.org

I just thought this was creepy... in a, you know, sadistic and fictional sort of way. I was thinking of submiting a story. Because, after all, I am a writer. Sort of. Anyway.

I have too many papers that are due. And with spring break a week away I don't know if I can find the sanity to do them. Plus I have a huge exam in Mass Communication on Monday and I don't think that's going to go over well. But I'm going to hold out for hope here, because I have all A's right now and I really don't want to lose that!

Anywho... I'm gonna go read the news. Maybe call a few people. Maybe find a quiet corner to take a nap. Mmm... nap...

Gabby

The festival was this weekend!

That was a lot of fun. Very touching, very moving, extremely confusing (but that was on a more personal level).

The cool thing is, there was this thing on blogs. Now, for those of you who don't know... this is a blog. *gasps everywhere* I understand that some people do read this, some people do not and that's cool, but I love my blog. It makes me feel connected, even when I'm far from actually being connected. I don't really know where I was going with all of that but... I love my LJ... that is all.

Back to now: Gary is being a butthead. We lost our lead for "The Diviner's" and we are in need of a replacement like NOW. Well, the students lined one up but Gary won't take him because he doesn't want to push the performance back one weekend. Grrr!! I know, that seems kind of crazy and maybe he's right. But this kid is good and if we could have him... things would be a little better. Until then, we're all stressed to hell and... it just doesn't seem fair.

I want to strangle something but that wouldn't be nice. and I think I have a quiz today on bones. Did I memorize those? Or better question, do I remember them from when I learned them all in high school? Because I totally didn't study.

Oops.

I don't have much going on in my life right now. I mean, I do... but I think for now I'm going to hold off on saying too much. I just need to go through my thoughts and really think. I hate thinking! grrr!!

Gabby

It snowed all day yesterday. It was so bad that they closed the Mackinaw Bridge and parts of I-75. Mostly, I just stayed inside. Until, you know, we ran out of toilet paper.

Other than that, this weekend was pretty uneventful. Which was nice, considering how busy this week is going to be. For the most part I just worked on homework, watched the snow fall, took Dixie for walks, watched movies. Enjoyed one of those rare weekends where you have nowhere to go and nothing to do. It was nice.

This week is going to be horrible, though. I have 2 tests, a quiz, three papers due, a presentation, another presentation for finance committee, rehearsals, 2 performances on campus, a 5 hour drive to Detroit, another performance and a 5 hour drive back. Yikes! Out of this whole semester, both weeks past and weeks to come, this is the busy week I will have. Even finals won't be this bad!

In the meantime, though, I'm starting to think about spring break, seeing as how that will be my next break. I'm thinking about just coming home for the week, hitting up a bar or two with my at home friends, relaxing on the couch, visiting my mom. I may just take a trip for myself, though. I'm thinking about taking a weekend just for me, holing up in a hotel in Mackinaw or something and just taking some me time, ya know? I just feel like I'm constantly surrounded by people and it would be nice to get away and clear my head. I don't know yet though; I don't know if I could stay in a hotel room by myself, so I may have to find someone to keep me company? More than likely Shari! But maybe Amy? I don't know yet! *sigh*

Anyway, I think I'm off to scavenge for food. I haven't eaten a full meal since 4 o'clock yesterday and I'm thinking that may be a good idea. I'll chat at ya'll later!

Gabby

I have lab in about... oh, let's say... 1 hour and 11 minutes. I'm excited about it. Mostly 'cause we get to play with microscopes today and that makes me happy. :D See, now, this is the side of me that misses being a criminalistics major, playing with microscopes and other sciency equipment.

But because I'm pretty sure I just made up a word, I'm happy to be a communication major again.

And now that it took me about 20 tries to write that last sentence, I am not. :(

Anywho, school is uber-busy right now. I feel like I have no time whatsoever (despite the fact that I am currently sitting on the computer, writing on LJ while my Mass Comm. book sits unopened and gathering dust before me). I mean, today is my busy day. I have lab at ten, interpersonal communication at 1, Mass Communication at 3, Functions of the Human Body at 5 and rehearsal from 7-9ish... Add to that studying (if I can pry myself away from internet goodness to do that) and figuring out my presentation for Finance committee on Monday AND making a timeline for the Dinner Theatre drama club said they wanted to do... I'm gonna be pooped by the end of the day!!

Speaking of drama... The Diviner's is going awesome. Last night was the first REAL night of blocking and running through everything, and while there were awkward moments for me, it felt so comfortable. Usually, when I have to play parts like this, I just feel so weird about it all. I really do feel like I'm acting. But yesterday I just had this little kid glee about it... like I was playing pretend and I could throw myself into this world and actually be Jennie Mae and actually care for Buddy and actually be falling for C.C., but then you get off stage, you take your exit, and suddenly I'm Gabby again, I care for Tim and Ryan and I love Steve. That was just such an amazing feeling; like I can feel the progress and how I've grown as a performer over the past little bit. That... that was nice.

Also, on that note, Proud Monster leaves for Detroit on Thursday. I'm getting so nervous and yet... I'm so excited. I told Gary yesterday that the thing I am most looking forward to is hearing what other people - people who do this all the time like me - think of this performance. I want to get advice, criticism, compliments, whatever. I'm just so excited to share these pieces with a larger more attentive audience. Thinking about it puts a smile on my face! :D

Anywho, I figured I've spent enough time on here... I guess I'm off to study... or something...

Adios!

Gabby

... actors, that is. Busy with multiple shows, having to learn lines from different scripts, being busy all around. No wonder they go off and do crazy shiza! I'm going insane!!

So yes, if you haven't already gathered from the previous entry that I am incredibly busy... I am incredibly busy. Tonight I start rehearsals for the Diviners... which is immediately followed by rehearsals for Proud Monster... in which I have 4 different scripts that need to be memorized. Well, are already memorized, but need to be fine-tuned. On top of that I have 2 class that I need to catch up on because I was only just able to buy the books on Friday. Oh, and lets not forget Drama club and pep band... both of which have meetings this week... Standards board tonight at the same time Proud Monster is and... 2 hockey games this weekend.

Also, I have a dog that needs a good walk, a fiancee that needs love and a body that decided, yes Gabby, today is the PERFECT day to shut down and get sick. You know what's funny though?

I wouldn't trade this life for anything. I have amazing friends who are standing by me and putting up with my horrendous schedule, I have a man that loves me and I'm doing things that I love. It may be busy, time consuming, heartbreaking at times and tiring but damn... this is the life.

I only say all of this because I still find it hard to believe that I am in this place. I never thought I'd be this happy. The last year has been kind of rough. I mean, I lost one of my best friends, I moved away from home... again, my dad moved to Texas... it's been a little hard. But now I'm keeping busy, getting into shape and just loving life in general. I just... I'm very happy right now. :D

Anywho... I miss all of you who know I miss you and I can't wait to see some of you soon!

Gabby

...have gone amazing! I have to say that there is not one class so far that doesn't interest me. Interpersonal has got me thinking about all the ways I communicate with my friends and loved ones. Mass Comm. has got me looking at the media and they way they inform us in a whole new way. Functions of the human body has already made me more aware of myself and the signals that my body gives me. Small group is forcing me to take a look at the groups that I run and make me wonder how to make them more effective. And speech and drama is forcing me to be more creative. I love it!

This semester does feel a little off though. For one, my best friend isn't here to keep me sane. Stacy ran off to France for 3 months of studying fun. Lucky girl. So it's just not the same without her. Although I did just find out from her mother that she left me a package... I wonder what is in it... hmmm...

Well, I guess I need to go to class. We're going to be sharing articles in class today about what popular media has to say about communicating. I have an article from Cosmo called "How to Sweep Him Off HIs Feet - Nonmushy Moves guys like." It's silly and totally weird. Anywho... I'm off!

Gabby

I've offically completed 3/4 classes and have only 1/2 hour left until I start the final drive in the last one. How exciting!

I got 103/100 today on my Astronomy Star Lab! Highest grade in the class baby! Now lets see what I got on the other two exams in that class! Then I took a test for History of Drama and Theatre... I'm pretty sure I got at least a 90% if not 100%. It was just... really easy! Now just to get org. comm. outta the way and we'll see what happens. Dean's list, here I come...?

In other news... I LEAVE FOR TEXAS TOMORROW!!!

Beat that suckers. No trip anywhere else, not to Vegas, not to NYC, not on some stupid little cruise can beat the joy of going home. Spending time with family. Yeah.

:D

Gabby

Not that I'm too nervous, but still. If I do well on all of my exams, I finally can cross off my number two college goal (right after graduate)... make the Dean's list. That's as long as I don't mess up by failing these exams. But they are fairly easy so I have confidence that I can do this! :D

Oh my god. I MUST go see Sweeney Todd! Johnny Depp is in it... and he can sing... and it looks AMAZING!!! Looks like I have a new movie to see. ACK! Alan Rickman is in it too! Oh, that's it, I'm SO going to see this movie!!

Anyway...

We leave for Texas in 5ish days. I'm so excited. Road trip, adventure, Mexican Christmas, family, NO SNOW! Yeah, good times! I just hope the bad weather the midsection has been getting lets up a little long enough to get us there safely.

Anywho... I'm off to study/take the dog for a walk/ laze around. Talk at ya later! :D

Gabby

Yes, my friends, it is that time of year again. can you believe it. Finals week is knocking at our door, the stress is building up and the time to do all your catching up just isn't there. Oh the happy happy joy joy!

So, what has been up in the life of Gabby? Not much, really. Steve and I are semi-moved into the new place. We have a couple of weird neighbors. The ones right above us are constantly running the water. Like... not even just the sink or the toilet, but you can tell it's the bath. What the fuck, eh? And the downstairs neighbor stares at us from her window everytime we pull in and walk up to the building. Like creepy, leaning out her window, her scary old lady eyes following us all the way around the corner staring. Anyone watch Scrubs? Know the episode with the old lady who kicked JD's butt so he stole her dentures? Yeah, like that...

We bought a couch today that has a pull out bed and is really nice. So hopefully some of you guys will wanna visit and take advantage of this wonderous event! ;)

What else... oh! Texas in two weeks! I can't wait! I'm getting really excited about seeing my dad and my grandparents and the massive amount of family that is sure to be waiting for us at the door. I'm also getting really excited about the drive (yes, we're driving). I've missed the open road so much, and this chance for adventure... of seeing the mountains... of feeling the warm air again. Well... all of that makes me really happy. I can't wait.

Can I just tell you all how much I love my friends? I love you guys. A lot.

Oh, and Dixie went in to get cut open today. *tear* No puppies for my puppy! I was so worried for her, though. I can't even imagine what it would be like to have kids and be this worried! Eek!

In other news, I've been in a really writy mood lately. I haven't actually written anything, but the urge is there. The desire. Keep an eye out... there may be something coming within the next few days.

There are really weird noises coming from outside the apartment. I know part of it is the 27 mph gusts we're getting off the river... but what is that strangely mechanical sound??

Hmmm...

Gabby

It's been awhile (I think) so I thought I'd update.

It's that time in the semester again where I don't care to get my work done. I will... but I don't care.

Steve and I officially started moving into the new place. It's huge and quiet and... new. It'll take some getting used to, but it's fun.

I've become an insomniac again. Not that I care. Personally, I don't mind the late nights. In fact, I rather enjoy them. It is kinda weird, though, seeing this side of the night again. I thought I had left this behind, but I guess sometimes you need to be a litte on the dark side in order to enjoy the light! ;)

My skin is really dry and that is totally not cool.

I'm pretty sure that the upstairs neighbors are having sex right now and that is funny as hell!

Oh, also, the Soo area has been bombarded by snow the last few days. Upside, I can finally go sledding. Downside, there is snow effin' everywhere.

I think that's all for now. If you have any questions... ask. Later!

Gabby

School. Blah blah blah.
Life. Blah blah blah.
COLD AS HELL. Blah blah blah.
SICK AS HELL. Blah blah blah.

In other words, life is very bland right now. Not bad or anything, just... blah! :D

It's also very sad because tonight is Jorja Fox's last night on CSI. As a fangirl with a major girl!crush on her... this makes me sad. Life without Sara Sidle? Not cool man. :(

My new favorite show onces she's gone: Pushing Daisies. Dear God, if you have not seen this show, you MUST go see it. NOW! Ned/Chuck... cutest 'ship EVER! This show is seriously like... the world inside my head. Bright and funny and fun... I love it!

Funniest line all week:
Astronomy Prof: And this is Virgo the Virgin.
Ditzy girl: THAT'S ME!
Prof: I'm... not even going to touch that one.
Girl: No, I mean... the Virgo part. Not virgin!

Or another conversation:
Prof: And as you can see, Gemini is here, in the eastern sky. Here's Procyon... none of you are going to remember that for the quiz, though I don't know why.
Ditzy Girl (same one): Sir, can you show that one again?
Prof: Oh God... I love it when you call me that.
Girl (seductively): Sir... can you please show it again... sir?

I love lab nights! *blush* I can't even make this stuff up! Hey, if my prof was like... 30 years younger, I'd totally have a crush on him! ;)

Anywho... I'm off! Adios!

Gabby

We complain and we moan and we wish for things to be over. We sit around and wait for the next new thing to come along. We wait and wait and wait.

And then, when it's over, we're sad.

Tonight was the last nigt of the show. And while I'll perform it again in February, it is still sad to be done with it now. This means we're at the end of the semester (kind of) and that things are going to get busy and hectic and...

I'll miss the stage.

These performances have made me realize something. I can do anything I put my mind to. I can take a character that seemingly has no character and turn it into somebody who lives. I can achieve goals that I set for myself and I can be a leader and a role model. That feels good. So good.

So, yeah. It's all over and that feels good. But I'll miss it.

At least until it's time to do it again! ;)

Gabby

My back still hurts. I wonder what I did to it?

In other news, i didn't get the job. *shrugs* I'll just have to keep looking, I guess.

I'm actually doing fairly well in school right now. I'm a bit disappointed at my lowest grade, but it's only a B-, so with a little work, I can get that up no problem. I'm still waiting to find out my grade in Astronomy, but that comes in 30 mins. so I won't stress... yet.

I've been feeling really tired lately. Like, I just want to sleep all the time. Translation: I need to get more sleep! I guess it's a good thing I don't have classes on mon. and fri. anymore. I'll just sleep in tomorrow too! Yay!

Halloween is tomorrow... boo.

And I have a show this weekend and next so... COME TO IT! Okay, that's all. :D

Gabby

It's raining. I love the rain! The sound of it hitting my window is making me feel warm, while literally, I feel very cold. The temperature has dropped again and this time I don't think it'll be going back up. But the rain still makes me feel warm inside (odd, right?) and after a good walk in the rain with Cassandra tonight, I feel a little less depressed and a little more at peace.

On that note, it is officially mid-terms, I suppose, and that means studying hardcore. Monday is the last day of class for Storytelling, in which I will present my story on the creation of the world from the Aborigonal culture (so sorry on spelling!). Thursday I have an astronomy exam and a history exam. I'm working on the astro. one now... but it all seems so easy that I almost don't wanna waste my time on it. *shrugs* I'm sure the studying will help... all his exams are stricly essay.

Besides the falling rain, the apartment is extremely quiet right now. Stacy's boyfriend is up, which means they are off doing their own thing. My fiance is at work and won't be able to come over tonight anyway because he has homework of his own to do. As weird as this may sound though, it's nice to kind of have a night of my own. No roommate to bother me or fiance to distract me or friends to get me sidetracked... just me, about to put in some Will Dailey and finish my astronomy. Listening to the rain outside whisper against my window. Wrap up in a warm blanket and read the night away.

*content sigh*

Gabby

PS: *random CSI fangirl moment* SHE SAID YES!! GRISSOM AND SARA ARE ENGAGED!!