We've got to keep going...

Well, there it is everyone. After four months and four days of intense performances, Macbeth is finally over. I thought that I'd be more excited, but really, I'm kinda sad. All of those people that I got so used to seeing everyday, I'll no longer get to see as much. It's amazing what you can get used to and what you miss when all is said and done.

So, yay for having my life back, but boo for losing an important part of it at the same time.

This entry isn't just about the end of Macbeth, though. It's about another kind of end. A more serious kind. Yesterday my dad came up for the final show and while he was driving me to lunch, he gave me some sad news. One of my relatives in Texas committed suicide a week ago. Now, I never met this one (umm... I have about 150 family members in Texas)but I had heard her name brought up in conversation and her and my dad were really close. She was a drug addict and she jumped off a highway overpass because her dad wouldn't pay to get her car fixed. She didn't die right away, but by the time help came, she had passed.

At first it was sad, but didn't really affect me. Then at two o'clock this morning I started crying. I think it was because of Scrubs at first, watching Mrs. Wilks die and thinking how sad it was. And then I thought about that cousin and just... lost it. I was just lying there, crying my eyes out, wondering why anyone would want to end their life. What thoughts are going through ones head as you fall? And when you hit the ground and don't see any light but the Texas sun hanging above your head and the pain is coursing through your body, what are you thinking?

It also hit me that I haven't really suffered any loses in my 20 years of living. I've had great-grandparents die, but I was never old enough to really know what was going on. And last year my semi-grandma Norma died, but even then I didn't feel much loss. I don't know. I don't know how I'd handle death, especially the death of someone close to me.

Okay, well, enough of this sad and depressing post. I'm going to go get ready for math now.

Gabby

Well, tonight went extremely well. I wanted to share a few funny things with all of you.

1. The very second scene, a LIVE mouse ran across the stage. It was funny and apparently it is also good luck.

2. We have these huge ass REAL pine trees on the stage. During the show, one of them fell. And yes, it was heard. A lot.

3. Part of the set broke off during one of the final acts. The piece that fell off almost hit an audience memeber in the head. Why is this funny? I dunno, but it is.

4. I messed up a cue and almost forgot to take a prop out. Then, another actor did miss a cue and the entire scene was improvised by another actor. It was very cool, but that reminds me that I have to tell the cast that, no matter how badly someone screws up, to NEVER start name calling. Someone went up to the person who missed a cue and called him an asshole. That's just unacceptable. Fact is, for every one mistake they point out, I can point out five that they made, so they should keep their mouths shut and not bring down other actors. /rant

5. Death is very funny. Because every time someone died, the audience laughed. And then, when Macbeth got his head chopped off, they just roared with laughter. It was great!

Well, that is all. I'm sure I'll be making posts like this everynight. But until then, adieu!

Gabby

(PS: Missed CSI tonight, but totally saw the clips. Oh. My. God. How cute was that final scene?! God, I love my fandom! And my 'ship being canon! *happy sigh*)

It has finally come. After so many months of hard work and worrying and bitching and laughing and putting together this amazing show, opening night is finally here. I can't even begin to tell you just how big this is for me.

Forget the fact that when I first found out what part i had gotten, I was crying and thinking about not doing it. Especially when I found out WHY some people got the parts they did. But when I finally got into it, when I finally started being proud of what I was doing, I was offered assistant stage manager for the first time ever. And that, to me, is big. Because, yeah, sure, anyone can do it, but Gary trusted me enough to ask ME to do it.

So, here I sit, just a few hours from the first set of our four day run, and all I can feel is that tingle of excitement that is coursing through my spin. Mistakes; they are inevitable. Dropped lines; they are going to happen. I'm going to get frustrated, grumpy, antisocial and intent on doing my absolute best. I can already see the faces of the audience staring at this show and for three hours tonight, they are going to be sucked into this bloody, scary, lustful world that it's taken almost four months to create.

I just cannot believe we're finally here. I'm so excited!

Gabby

What. A. Day.

It's only effin' two o'clock and I'm already gonna complain. Where to start?

Got up late. Again. But made it to my first class. It was so slow, I thought I might just marry, have kids, retire and die all in the time it took to start and end that class. Then, I went to my next class, after having spent the whole night studying, to take the test that pretty much could be the deciding factor on whether or not I spend my summer up here. Soooooo, I take it and was pretty much holding back tears the entire time. Why? Because I didn't know a damn thing on that bastard piece of paper. Five problems. All I needed to do was get five problems right. But did I? I highly doubt it.

Got back to my room, took a long hot shower and thought that the day might get better. Sit down on my bed to read for English when the dorm phone rings. I pick it up and it's the business office for me. Well, all of my money stuff was taken care of... oh, except for the $276 dollars I still owe them. But it's fine, I can set up payment plans with them and hopefully not get kicked the fuck outta this school.

Now, I have this bastard headache from hell. It seriously feels like I have someone standing behind me with their hands on both sides of my head and they are trying to squish it. It fucking hurts.

Not to mention, I have to be to rehearsal by five, so that I can get into costume, set up my little station, sit behind a curtain, play my trumpet, run back and forth, tell people to shut up who won't listen to me anyway, hear people bitch and moan about the most god awful and ridiculous things and not get any respect even though I'm doing twice the job that anyone besides leads and Gary are doing. Then, I get to come home, miss ANOTHER night of seeing my boyfriend just to stay up until three in the morning studying for classes that I'm terrified of failing before I get up at 7:30 and do it all over again.

Joy. Life is wonderful. Stupid being busy. I hope everyone else is having a good day though. *sigh* I love you all.

Gabby